Stumbling in the dark, in every sense. I rise at my normal 5:30am with less to do. No commute, no opening the office. Just getting up.
I shower, dress and peer into my son’s abandoned room that will be my office for… how long…?
Nothing is familiar. Nothing is routine. Stumbling in the dark. Starting my day trying not to wake my husband. Honestly, this is not out of consideration for his need to sleep, but out of consideration for my need to figure this out without interference.
How do I start my days now? How did I start them before? Make the coffee. Pour the coffee and take breakfast to my desk. That’s how I used to do it. Last week, I mean. When things were normal.
So, back to down to the kitchen. Pour the coffee. Grab the banana and remember. I bought the breakfast bars! Thank god I bought the breakfast bars! The ones I eat for breakfast with banana and coffee at the office.
I get a dark chocolate-cherry, sticky bar, my banana and my coffee. And head to the makeshift office.
The feel of the mug my yoga instructor gave me for Christmas. The one that is smooth and bulbous at the bottom and feels like warm comfort in my hands. The sweet banana and the dark chocolate-cherry, sticky bar. The familiar comes rushing back.
Ah, yes, this is me. This is how my day begins. And I am grounded again in the comfortable and the known.