“How is talking to someone going to help?”
We hear this a lot when people first come to therapy.
The therapeutic relationship is different from other relationships. In our other relationships, the needs, values and lifestyles of both individuals play a role. While therapists certainly have those things, they do not play a role in the therapeutic relationship. Our job is not to impose our opinions or belief systems on our clients. Our job is to meet you where you are; to learn about you, your struggles, and your dreams from your point of view. We provide psychoeducation to help you better understand why you do the things you do and to help you understand how to work in collaboration with your body and mind, rather than in opposition to them. Finally, our role is to support you, to help you hear and understand your own history and the impact is has on today’s functioning, to help you realize your dreams and to create your own path in the unique way it unfolds for you.
Please see the list of issues that we see in therapy and how therapy can help. This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but it is a starting place to help you better understand the role of therapy.
Depression
Depression: Everyone experiences sadness or “the blues” from time to time, but this is not the same thing as depression. Depression is a physical condition that can take many forms. It may present as extreme sadness or despair lasting for long periods of time. It may present as loss of interest or pleasure in activities that have previously been enjoyable. Depression can also show up as anger and irritability. It can impact physical functioning. presenting as disruption in appetite and sleep or as physical pain. It shows up in our ability to concentrate, remember, focus, or participate in our lives. It also shows up in our thinking, which can turn to thoughts of guilt, hopelessness, worthlessness, and a loss of meaning or reason to live.
Depression is not a character flaw or a weakness. It is a physical illness and it is treatable. The causes of depression may vary from person to person.
How therapy can help: Research shows that the most effective treatment for depression is a combination of medication and therapy. While medication can adjust neurotransmitters (brain chemistry) more quickly than therapy, therapy provides people with skills, insights and support that reduce the frequency and severity of depressive episodes in the long-term.
We all have thought, emotional, relational, and behavioral patterns that govern our lives. Most of these are unspoken and unconscious. Some of them are very helpful and some are very problematic and play a major role in depression and anxiety. Therapy can help to unearth these patterns, see their origins, and make conscious choices about which of these are serving us well and which need to be challenged and left behind.
Anxiety
Anxiety: Stress and anxiety are a normal part of life that can often motivate us to change. Anxiety that is excessive, persistent, and disruptive, is clinical anxiety that makes functioning difficult or even impossible. Anxiety may show up as racing or intrusive thoughts of worry, fear, or even impending doom. It may also present as excessive worry about how others perceive you. Anxiety may also create physical symptoms such as panic attacks, racing heart, shallow breathing, increase in blood pressure, digestive problems, and disruption in sleep patterns.
How therapy can help: Good anxiety-management begins with feeling supported and then provides psychoeducation about what is happening in your mind and body that creates anxiety and panic and holds it there.
We all have thought, emotional, relational, and behavioral patterns that govern our lives. Most of these are unspoken and unconscious. Some of them are very helpful and some are very problematic and play a major role in depression and anxiety. Therapy can help to unearth these patterns, see their origins, and make conscious choices about which of these are serving us well and which need to be challenged and left behind.
Trauma
Trauma: Trauma is long lasting, disruptive emotional and physical responses to a distressing event. Trauma is not the same for each person. Certain conditions that a person may have experienced prior to trauma can influence the impact that a traumatic event has on a person. What happens in the aftermath of a traumatic event can impact whether a person has long-lasting symptoms. Trauma symptoms can cause depression, panic attacks, generalized anxiety, persistent fear, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, and physical symptoms such as sweating, racing heart, sleep and appetite disruptions and pain.
How therapy can help: Therapy provides support and a safe environment for you to learn how to manage the physical an emotional sense of being overwhelmed. Then you can begin to slowly approach the disruptive memories, thoughts and emotions related to the trauma. You can also begin to explore messages that trauma sends you. These messages, often meant to keep you safe, can instead create problems. You can begin to recognize and challenge these messages in more conscious ways that help you create the life you want to live.
Attachment
Attachment disruption: Attachment has to do with the bond (or lack or a bond) between a baby and its main caregivers. No parent is perfect and perfect parenting is not a requirement of secure attachment. It is important that in our formative years, we have stable adults who can support and care for us and who help regulate and development our physical/ emotional systems that respond to stress. When we are not provided this in childhood, we can struggle to regulate our emotions and responses to stress. We may also struggle with boundaries, safety, and intimacy.
How therapy can help: One of the foundational, therapeutic benefits of therapy is the therapeutic relationship. A consistent, secure therapist can provide the support needed for emotional regulation, a sense of being supported and held in unconditional positive regard. Repairing attachment disruption can begin in the therapeutic relationship and then extend to others.
Grief
Grief: Grief is a part of life, but it can be overwhelming when it disrupts your understanding of life as you have known it. Not everyone who loses a loved one needs grief counseling. Signs that you may need support may include feelings of hopelessness, anger, guilt, an inability to eventually rejoin life in meaningful ways. People who care about you may have opinions about how and how soon your grief should progress, but each person experiences grief in a very particular way. Grief does not have a time limit, but an ability to incorporate your grief into the rest of life and to find joy and meaning again are important parts of healing.
How therapy can help: Grief counseling can provide the support you need as you face the physical, emotional, spiritual, cognitive, and relational responses to loss. It can be a place where you can learn more about the symptoms you are experiencing. Therapy is a safe place where you can tell the stories you need to tell as many times as you need to tell them. It is also a safe place to talk about responses and feelings that you feel uncomfortable sharing with others. Losing someone we love can impact our identity and therapy can support you as you redefine yourself after loss. Grief is not something we “get over.” It is, however, a significant event that shapes us as we incorporate the experiences of loss and the meaning of the lost relationship into our larger experience of life.
Life Transitions
Life Transitions: Change is the only constant in life and a full life should include change and growth. Sometimes change is planned and sometimes it is unexpected. Some life changes are positive and others can be devastating. Leaving the known and facing the unknown is difficult. It can cause stress on many levels. Change can cause us to question our abilities as we face the learning curve of the new challenge. It can make us question our identities and our relationships. Transitions can bring on symptoms and anxiety and depression, but these are important times of life and how we face them and frame them will determine their meaning.
How therapy can help: Therapy can help you manage the overwhelming stress of change. It can help you express the difficult emotions you may experience during times of transition and adjustment. Therapy supports you develop realistic expectations of yourself and others. It is common, during times of change, to want to run back to the old and familiar. Therapy can help you discover the benefits of change and help you find coping skills as you move forward into the life that you are creating.
Wellness Support
Wellness Support: According to the World Health Organization, wellness is “A state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” That’s a pretty tall order in our busy, demanding lives. Counseling is not always about problems or pathology. Sometimes we just need support as we face the demands of our lives.
How therapy can help: The relationship with a therapist is unlike our other relationships. Your therapist is there to support you without their own agenda. It can be helpful to be able to unpack the events of your life, explore your emotions and reframe the meaning of things. Sometimes it is difficult to see the forest for the trees. Having someone objective and caring, someone who is trained with coping skills and who has the distance and objectivity to see insights or other possibilities can be helpful as we strive to live full, meaningful lives.
